I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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