Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just pynch a tree in the face
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
