Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Enjoy the penises
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
