Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
