yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
