If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
