i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
