Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
