ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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