I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
