You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
