I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
