Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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