I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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