what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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