Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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