I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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