I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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