you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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