Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
