She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize