I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize