So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Are my feet made of real feet?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
