she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
