Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
