I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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