He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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