3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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