Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize