Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
