did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
