then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
