he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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