you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
