Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
