just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
