Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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