she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
