I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
