how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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