I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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