Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.