Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel