Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
