I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize