tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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