i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
