Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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