According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.