Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?

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(518): Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs? http://tfl.nu/bc57

Replies (21) Good night (670) Bad night (2120)
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(206): View more from Washington

Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad

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(206): Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad http://tfl.nu/uv9f

Replies (21) Good night (1614) Bad night (899)
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(574): View more from Indiana

New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy

(860): View more from Connecticut

enjoy the hospital

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(574): New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy (860): enjoy the hospital http://tfl.nu/9tp2

Replies (7) Good night (2379) Bad night (814)
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(301): View more from Maryland

you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.

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(301): you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop. http://tfl.nu/0o9n

Replies (19) Good night (7316) Bad night (800)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?

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(252): Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot? http://tfl.nu/byc9

Replies (14) Good night (4539) Bad night (924)
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(631): View more from New York

I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.

(1-631): View more from New York

I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.

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(631): I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified. (1-631): I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes. http://tfl.nu/l5ui

Replies (50) Good night (7436) Bad night (2074)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.

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(609): He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies. http://tfl.nu/y08j

Replies (5) Good night (846) Bad night (1315)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".

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(+44): Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis". http://tfl.nu/tct7

Replies (7) Good night (1712) Bad night (591)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina

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(603): I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina http://tfl.nu/bksp

Replies (7) Good night (2490) Bad night (575)
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(773): View more from Illinois

He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.

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(773): He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date. http://tfl.nu/geei

Replies (5) Good night (503) Bad night (1475)
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(512): View more from Texas

You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.

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(512): You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor. http://tfl.nu/8xpn

Replies (1) Good night (1217) Bad night (474)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT

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(804): Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT http://tfl.nu/kgfg

Replies (0) Good night (624) Bad night (376)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.

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(603): seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed. http://tfl.nu/l8pu

Replies (6) Good night (338) Bad night (503)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Damn, well, it could always be worse

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad

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(423): Damn, well, it could always be worse (1-423): For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad http://tfl.nu/5yq7

Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (308)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!

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(920): My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015! http://tfl.nu/mzec

Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (123)

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