yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.