my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
