You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
