goodnight i made you a song goodbye
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
