I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
