sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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