why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
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He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
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There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Come on in and take your pants off
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