He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
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My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
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I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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