summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
